Weddings are all around me and I cannot hide anymore. There have been weedings from time to time, some more or less distant friends, relatives or acquitances. Now it is different - close friends or colleagues are ready to tight the knot and I am becoming part of it. Even if I am not invited, you cannot miss these occasions on Facebook. I admit it is nice to scroll though the pictures and to check who did the hairdo, make-up or the accessories. Hundreds of styles, thousands of tastes. So many questions in my head...some of them do not have answers.
Do I want this for myself? (Really?) Am I able to organise a wedding that would be perfect in my eyes and entertaining for all guests? (Hard to say) Do I want to spend half a day at the stylist for a 10-minute speech at the Town Hall (if not elsewhere)? (No! I need a long speech and all the tingly-wingly thingies have to take its time too) Is it worth all the money? (It will cost fortune) Is my marriage going to last? (Divorce rate in the Czech Republic in 2012 is 45% and this is actually a decrease to 2011. And I am a bitch!) Does it guarantee hapiness? (Noooo, definitely not) Will I be satisfied with the dinner party? (It is so hard to find a reasonable restaurant!) Will I be proposed? (I seriously doubt that because when I met my boyfriend (and hopefully husband-to-be) I made it clear that I do not want to get married) Will I bear the wedding ring on my ring finger? (Very unlikely, I wear rings only on middle fingers or index fingers)
When I get down from the sky, I pay a thought to my vanity - money can be easily spent elsewhere, doesn't it? And yes - I changed my mind. I do want to be proposed! But I do not want to get married. Just maybe if I come up with some awesome programme for dinner party and the ceremony, if I win lottery to pay for the wedding, if I find some great restaurant for dinner party, if he proposes, if I train my ring finger for a wedding ring, if...
All this confirms my theory, that wedding is not a matter of decision but a matter of development. A proper mature development of two loving creatures. Then he does not love me enough to make a step ahead and I am just a littler girl that needs to grow up and live through to her big wedding day!
1 comment:
hoping for all the ifs to change to "already did/doing it" :D hope you know what I mean. I understand you... But when it comes to commitment, there is something nice in it... even though you want to wrap him in bubble plastic and dig a big hole in the back yard, about 30x a month (more times if you have hard PMS case) :) but... in the end... oh well, he better propose!!! (come visit, I'll give him THE talk) :)
Post a Comment